At times however, I wasn't sure if I wanted to survive. I wasn't sure if I wanted to return to a hostile world. I didn't have much reason to hope that anyone else from my family would survive. In spite of all this, I had a great urge to push on and to survive. I was very careful not to exert more energy than I absolutely had to and I certainly didn't want to help the German war effort. Sometimes, I was able to barter things to get more food. I was able to secure additional warm clothing and some Polish army boots.
On April 25, 1945 they loaded many of us into cattle cars again, and transported us toward an unknown destination for mass execution. We sent some prisoners to make a deal with the officer in charge. We asked him to take us towards the oncoming American forces, instead of the execution site. In turn we guaranteed him safe passage as soon as we reached the American forces. If he had not agreed, he would most likely have been executed as a war criminal. We were very lucky that he agreed.