Mountain Dew, Moose Milk, or Whatever

During the early part of the present century (20th Century), an occasional stranger would wander into the area west of the historic Hudson's Bay Company Trading Post (Rocky Mountain House) and establish himself in a dug-out in the sand hills, just far enough removed from the main travelled trails used by settlers and mounted policemen that his place of residence would not be noticed. It was not until 1912, when the Canadian Pacific and the Canadian Northern Railways were engaged in the constructuion of railways to and beyond Rocky Mountain House, that much attention was given to drifting strangers. The road and bridge-building foremen discovered most of their hired men to be in a very morose and inebriated condition for several days after each payday. Certain furtive-looking characters were occasionally observed to be either loitering in the bush or visiting the workmen during the night after payday. It was then definitely proven that bootlegging was the cause of work being disrupted. Even though the local mounted policeman did his best to check bootlegging, it was an impossible task for one man.

So bootlegging continued to flourish. After the coal-mining camps at Brazeau (Nordegg), Harlech, Alexo, Saunders West and Saunders Creek were established and coal mining operations commenced, the bootleggers were well on the way to a thriving business.

One fall during the early twenties (1920's) when I was moose hunting in that woodland region northwest of the hamlet of Horburg, I accidently stumbled into a "blind pig". There was a dugout in the hillside, but nothing to suggest that the lord of the manor was in occupation that day. Some distance away I saw a small horse barn just big enough for a team of horses and a man's bed. The back of the building had a window hole. A few feet away was the neatest pile of horse manure I'd ever seen. Something prompted me to climb over the log fence. A piece of board protruding from the top of the manure pile whetted my curious nature. Investigation showed that it was part of a large wooden lid which covered a barrel of mash in an advanced stage of fermentation. I replace the lid and kicked some manure over it before continuing my search for a young bull moose.

The following recipe should give some idea of the procedure of manufacturing that famous brew, mountain dew, moose milk, or whatever anyone cares to name it:

"Get a steel barrel, all the better if previously used, cut off the top, and keep it for a lid. Set the barrel in the center of a pile of fresh horse manure. Slowly alternate layers of potatoes, rye, barley, and molasses; then fill the remainder of the barrel with water, such as soft water from a muskeg. Put the lid on the barrel and pile manure on top. Don't worry if some of the horse manure falls in. As the manure heats, its warmth will speed up fermentation.

When the vegetation nearby is noticed to droop and wilt and birds passing over drop dead, it is time to strain off the liquid from the mash and put in it into another steel barrel. Do not use a wooden barrel because this special brand of firewater had a habit of eating its way out of wooden containers. Throw in a good-sized moose steak to clear it. Should you be without moose steak, a rabbit or cat will serve the purpose.

When the liquid has cleared, boil it. Continue the boiling process allowing the steam to condense through a copper worm of piping. After all of it has run off through the pipe, cool and bottle it. Wire on the corks tightly.

Later if you wish to conjure in your imagination visions of ogopogis or other aquatic monsters and reptiles which would startle even the most hardened mother-in-laws, just pour a good old-fashioned pint-pot full, drink it -- don't be stingy-- and quaff another pint. Then go to sleep. When your wife fails to wake you the following morning, she is likely to find that your spirit is soaring to those realms above or to the depths below."

Editor's note: This recipe is printed for entertainment purposes only. We seriously caution anyone who might attempt to make their own 'moose milk' that side effects such as blindness, or even death have resulted from drinking impure alcohol. See the last sentence of Henry's essay above.